The policemen put a speed trap
next to the hills beside the Hamilton exit,
so I always hit the brakes when I see the sign
for Meadowlark Lane.
It's the "T" that runs from the frontage road
along business 7 into the little dell
with five houses, two stables,
and a stone footbridge.
When I get caught in a traffic jam during
the evening commute, my mind often wanders,
passing the time by planning a picnic
on a new-mown lawn.
I found the lane once with a friend
as we drifted a little farther than usual
down the walking trail after dinner
on a Sunday afternoon.
One day, I hope we'll drive over
to buy the house with the stone footbridge
so we can have our tea on Meadowlark Lane
where time travels by footsteps.
Criticism welcome.
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I feel compelled to mention that you spelled "brakes" wrong. The poem overall is good, though. The descriptions give a good picture of both the physical and mental landscapes around Meadowlark Lane.
ReplyDeleteThere are a few points where the poem could perhaps be polished--the third verse doesn't feel quite right to me, somehow, though I can't pinpoint the problem. Still, nice work.
Thank you Ben. I appreciate the thoughts, and hope you like the revisions.
ReplyDeleteI really like the last line :)
ReplyDeleteBecause the first line hints at speeding tickets, the whole poem makes me a little uneasy/nervous. I don't think that's what you intended, but that is how it makes me feel.
Sorry, I can't give an analysis like Ben, but you wanted to know :)